There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
