My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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