sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
