The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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