he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
