I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You left your phone here
Wait...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
