I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
