Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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