Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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