Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
