Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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