my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We have started to decorate penises.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
