I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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