Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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