I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
