i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
