apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
