My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
