Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
