just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
