When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize