I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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