foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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