It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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