dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
3 2 1 whiskey
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
