so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
zippers are such a cool invention
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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