dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
