Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
