I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
