areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Randomize
