I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
