i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
