I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
