i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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