If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
