I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize