Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
