dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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