i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
