dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize