these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
