i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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