Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
