my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
