If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize