I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
