CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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