Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
