i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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