okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
