Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
