Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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