She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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