My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
