it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
