i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Its about making memories worth repressing
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
