So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
