Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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