please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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