party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
