woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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