I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
