How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize