Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
